Top Signs you could be Overthinking ( Part two of the Overthinking series)

So in this particular piece to keep things short, I will only discuss the top signs you might be overthinking :

Part 1 – Be aware! The Ogre named Overthinking

Part 2- A few signs you could be overthinking!

Part 3- How does it affect you? 

Part 4 – How to get over this thinking – Ways to overcome this habit of overthinking.

“I pushed him off, for I thought he would want the same thing, then why does it feel shitty?

Because you didn’t think rationally it was rather your overthinking, you thought of those what ifs and saw the worst outcome to something that meant nothing but good to you.

The line on the other side hears a deep sigh,

Maybe you are right, I did and now I have lost what I love, but is too late?

All she gets back is silence, for isn’t  that what she wanted?
——————————–

Now that you somewhat feel you do overthink, how about we look out fo sure short signs that you could be overthinking?

Here are a few!

  • You keep reliving past moments again and again :  You find it difficult to let to of the past memories, especially painful or the ones that hurt you, even if the incident took place years ago, you cant let go. It is possible that the experience left a deep impact upon you, or even hurt you, mentally as well as physically, but you feel that is stilll very much Latched on to you, you cant let go.pexels-startup-stock-photos-212286
  • You tend to worry more the various What If’s in your life :  This has to be one of the most disastrous things we over thinkers do. We humans do tend to indulge in What If’s at less frequency than that of an over-thinker, for this question is like their kryptonite, they are weakest when they are surrounded by them, they feel it will get them close to home, but it only keeps killing them night and day.
  • You tend to worry about the future a lot, so much so that it has started affecting your daily life – You are so caught up with your own thoughts that you forget whether you locked the door, loose a track of time while you’re staring at blank space and get lost in those thoughts, you find it difficult to concentrate or enjoy things you once loved.  You feel anxious at the mere thought of an uncertain future because of which there is a constant need to plan things out, make pointers, checklist, keep things in control for that way you have somewhat hold upon your future dealings.

pexels-sayantan-kundu-951005

  • You find it difficult to forgive yourself for those mistakes of the past- You come up with better solutions to them feel that may there could have been something you could have done better or in a easy way. But when you fail to come up with any of those better solution, you sulk, you get angry on yourself and feel nothing you ever do would ever be right.
  • You dislike easy answers- Aren’t easy things just a facade? You want to look at the deeper truth, the deeper meaning behind any conversation, Did they agree with me because they wish to get  rid of me? or are they done with me? Easy answers are never right, nothing is ever that easy, right?
  • You dislike One word answers!  This one, well, we over thinkers generally do not like them for they kickstart our overthinking space high and then we go into our safe cave and try to decipher the “hidden” meaning behind that cool, good, nice or okay!

pexels-cottonbro-3778550

  • Routine “Observations” not Talk make up your day : Now this seems normal I know, but as an over-thinker myself, every time I am out for a run, or meet stranger or even my friends, I tend to observe to their non -verbal cues, so much so that at times their sigh, could just mean they are tired from the daily chore not because they are tired from me of me. But I tend to observe a lot and then go back think about it, You observe more than you will speak or say, even though the other person is talking to you, you will observe their actions, not realising that your own actions makes you look hostile or rude to a new person who wouldn’t be aware about your normal routine of observing,
  • You are always on a lookout for new information : This is also a characteristic of a deep thinker, but the difference between a deep thinker and an over thinker lies in the outcome, a deep thinker channelizes their thoughts towards a problem and comes up with a solution to it. The over thinker, rather looks out for information that just adds more to their worries and is in line with their what if’s hypothesis, this never ending cycle doesn’t stop, for you will always be on a lookout for new information as your overthinking makes you believe that others are trying to hurt you or will take advantage of you.
  • You find it difficult to fall asleep quickly : Your thoughts are so much ingrained inside your mind that not only do they occupy your mind in the day, but also at night when you try to sleep, you can’t seem to find a “Pause” or “Stop Now” button for them. They keep going on and on and keep you awake a lot of times, thus leaving you feeling lethargic or tired again in the day.

Each and everyone one of us might have a different experience with overthinking. We do overthink, just that the scale is quite different. Now just because we do indulge in overthinking doesn’t make us good or bad, shitty or a loser or sulker, it makes us human, but that comes with a price, the price is at times our life, your self esteem, your health- physical or mental or even emotional will be affected, which will be discussed in more detail in the next post!

Thank you so much for reading, do let me know your thoughts, would love to know them.

Random rant for the day.

Moving on is very ambiguous, it’s more complicated than falling in love itself Moving on/ way from infatuation/ lust relationship,is like carrying a sack full of sponge,it is supposed to be light you know? But the unforeseen rains just make it too heavy and now you just wander around with that load, everyday.

It is at times,that road you knew would lead you to your destination, but the various bumps and the uncertain track, makes you confused, you don’t know where you stand. Have you almost reached? Or have you not even crossed any checkpoint yet? Are you finally there? Can you celebrate your victory away? You’re quite unsure.

*****

I have tried all the things the Psychology today article said, at times referred to the book by various authors, or read those articles online.

They suggested a variety of things, from giving them a weird nickname, to making fun or laughing at their flaws (this was too extreme and fucked up I’d say) or talking it out to them sharing what you really felt, but in my case, it ended up with another series of texting battles, but the other side was too polite I couldn’t understand if that’s how things ended in normal way.

But the widely acceptable way I was told was, Giving it time, for it heals everything, I wonder if it truly does?

Or do you hide these feelings in a bottle full of sorrow and throw them in a sea of melancholy and pain? Where they lie afloat, dont sink nor drown, just flow away to a land unknown.

Or maybe it is that room filled with the person you once loved, or thought you did, the ones who lied, at times betrayed, at times met you by destiny or fate, but alas time, oh time,has it’s own way to take them away, they lie behind that door, of rusty lies and broken promises,you lock them away and never look back, for the keys, you’ve lost and now, you just wait.

Maybe time just teaches you, patience? And the other things, you learn them away

*****

It also means, there are days you are absolutely composed, so busy in your daily routine you forget about their existence, forget everything they ever said, it’s as though life was getting normal per se.

Then the very next moment, something ultra random and trivial reminds you of them. That peculiar cologne smell, someone walking in similar way as them, with ear phones tucked in their ears, they are rejoicing in their own world, their own place,or that unusual fragrance of that incense that made you feel jittery every time you met, the song they recommend being played in the background or in the place away.

Just one tiny thing and there you are the naive moth, once again, drawn to those wild flames, you get lost in the moment, remembering their smile, their eyes, their words, you missed them again.

Just godddamm why?

The paradoxical one.

She is unsure and uncertain in life, she wants a few things, yet doesnt want them too. She would initiate the conversation then feel it losing it’s sight and in time with her lack of effort, it’ll die.

For she knows they’d have many others whom they would talk to, she’d assume small things and get nervous all the time, “why did you type the Okay ♥️ as ok, / okay / k/ this time?”The others she wonders about the tone of their text and replies, “were they in a hurry or did they wish to talk to me after a while?”

“Why didn’t they use their regular emoji, or are they done with her hopeless plight?”

She deletes messages quite often too,for her anxiety tells her it sounds too rude or maybe not right, what if they feel bad? What if they read in between the lines? They cant see her vulnerable side.

Sudden calls from strangers scare her to death,do they expect a specific reply? Is hmm and haan and okay and yeah, fine? What if they feel she is not contributing to the conversation at all,her heart comes to her mouth, she feels like 1 year old, she babbles or mumbles or at times is inaudiblely loud.

At times,she is sure of her mind, sure of the things she has to say and feels about the people around, yes doubts and fear cross her mind, but her heart comes to resuce those times.

The others, her heart plays tricks on her mind, for it doesn’t understand the difference between infatuation or lust, confuses it with love and keeps her awake all night.

Yes she overthinks, she has scales of measurement for this overthinking too, a bit done every now and then seems fine, she takes overthinking breaks in between her day, thinks about the topic from all the sides and even tho the stimulus is out of her sight it still revolves in her mind.

Is it yes or was it no?”

She dislikes the term in between and people giving her ambiguous hues. She likes weird and confusing things for sure,

The puzzle the daily crossword, the sudoku hurl, the Rubik’s cube, confusing it may be for others but she’d try all the combinations and solve it overnight, and if not, then mess up the code and add more sequences to her plight.

At times she is nervous and shy,like the naive Caterpillar that transforms into a beautiful butterfly, she is oh so cautious and alert of her moves, never to harm a soul and usually complies.

The others she is bold and scary they say, like the moth, that’s as dark as the ruinous sky, you’d shoo her off, so that she doesn’t ruin your cashmere shawl overnight,

She’s reckless and wild, is attracted to dangerous people who often hurt her or leave her in the absence of light, is attracted to the feral fire that could burn her core, yet she wishes to go near it, to warm her numb soul.

…..

Life for her is a puzzle,

one cannot fathom right away

It is never truly black nor white,

At times it’s blue and purple, red and grey,

So arrange every piece that comes your way,

And that’s how she lives her life, everyday.

Paradoxical us.

I’m done chasing the ghosts of our past,
I wish it were a reality,
But we both knew it wouldn’t last.

You broke my wings,
I hid my plight,
But I never hindered
Your will to fly;

There’s no way your words will lead me
Back into that path,
I set you free, then,
For if we’re meant to be, we shall meet again in time.
Only to never leave each others side.


First collaboration!

The bold letters are written by Bharath

And the one in italics are by me.

Hope you all like it.♥️

Why does this happen?

When I give up the thought of you returning back,Accept, that maybe we weren’t meant for each otherEven though we did make each other happy sometimes.And that now it’s time to make things right.Forget you and start living my life.You casually slide in, portraying everything is fine.

Are you worthy enough?

Why does the rose hurt me, when all I’m trying to do is remove it’s thorns to make it more beautiful?

Because you’re trying to change it.

But won’t the thorns hurt me?

They shall, but if you want the beautiful rose,you have to show that you’re worthy of it as well.

So how do I prove myself then?

Don’t try to change it, my dear, rather accept it with all it’s flaws and pain and then it shall happily bloom once again.

Poem 12#

Of the many no’s

And don’t’s,

Don’t let it out,

Just let it grow.

What would they think about me?

What if they’re hurt?

What if they leave me?

They shouldn’t know.

I can’t act vulnerable,

Let’s the mask best be.

When will you start living for thee?

Accepting your real self,

Sharing what you feel?

For hey, know this,

You deserve to be free.