The Introverted Man (2)

He’s definitely one of his kind, he wears clothes like a 12 grade teen, with sweatshirt always on and dark colored pants, he hides his shy demeanor by tucking his hands in his side pockets and walks with ease.

His aviators are alwys there by his side, he wears them to hide away his rhuemy eyes, for he wishes to hide away. His light brown eyes would show you a variety of things, only if you closely pay attention to the words his eyes speak.

They’d at times twinkle too bright, like the stars he encounters by the sea, they lit up like his favourite star when he narrates his childhood play with his dad and sister practicing WWE with each other during his school days.

His eyes hide away the turmoil within him too, hide away the many sleepless nights he spent at the sea, or the times he lay awoke on the cold bed, homesick, wishing to be just a bit closer to his shore.

If you closely pay attention to his eyes, you can see patches of melancholy aligned too, of the days he cried when no one was around, the days he felt he wasnt the perfect child, or the days he prayed he could just leave. They are latched below his eyes, he names it *tiredness* for he couldn’t fall asleep since he was working and partying at nights.

Yet he’d never show an ounce of emotions from his end, for his bright smile would cover up these.

His smile, is as pleasant as the winds during June rains, the one that makes everyone around them so lively and chirpy. It’d remind you of the 11:11 wish you read online, he’s the kind of guy who’d make sure you’re always happy and all right.

He’d stare at you across the room full of people, he notice how the veins on your forehead look too bright in the afternoon sun, how you awkwardly tuck your hair when you feel anxious or shy. He’d also notice the way you truly smile, the way your eyes roll or the way you gently sigh, he’d look deep into your eyes when you’re looking away or when you’re trying to hide.

He’d need no words to understand how you feel, for his intuitive gut would work just fine. He’d know how to make you laugh or when to change the subject of your talk, when to get coffee or when to offer you a cigarette puff.

He’d also be there to hold your hand when you feel the stairway is too uncertain towards the end, he’d ask you if you’re all right and hold your hand too tight and smile. His rough hands would softly catch yours all the time, his fingers would draw circles around your wrists, to tell you he would never leave.He’d never back down from walking hand in hand by the street, his grip would be like the knots he learnt in sailing school, never lose, always firm and tight.

Lastly, he’d hug you too tight, the one that would make you forget about everything else around you, the one that would shatter all your previously held ambiguities, it’d feel as cozy as the your favorite blanket during wintery nights and would make you feel safe and make you smile.

Is it okay to be like this?

Do we fall in love with how the person actually is? Or the idea of them we have inside our brain,

We love to romanticize their dull eyes, their scam smiles and their honey dripped lies.

And oxytocin supports our beliefs overtime, the hugs feels heavenly, the kiss seems like a delight.

Their normal expressions seem so special, “the love drug” keeps playing tricks on our mind

Then we slowly start imagining scenarios in which they have married us and we are living a “happily ever after life”

But alas, infatuation or lust is temporary, most of the times,

You become obsessed with them, like an addict, you’re drawn to their presence and keep pestering them all the time,

Asking them about their whereabouts, feel insecure, jealous, feel that pit in the stomach when they dont give you importance,

You wish to keep them happy, no matter what, never wish to go against them, wish to be by their side, even though it hinders your self esteem all the time.

Until one day they tell you,

dont contact me ever again”

And you realise, that infatuation played you well

You’re heartbroken, you feel this is the end of life,

When in reality, it’s not.

For now is the time you shine,

You give yourself the love and importance you deserved all the time.❣

Poem 54#

Why do we scream in silence

But stay mum during turbulent days,

Smile during thunders,

But cry alongside those rains,

Why do we lock everything up in our concrete jail,

But wish to be free from our own chains,

Why do we run away,

From our shadow and that blurry face

From those violent winds and those unsettled waves,

But in our gloomy world, we often stay?

Poem 46#

Promise me,we’ll meet.

This time, would be our final greet.

I’ll be there waiting for you,

Under the settling sun,

by the egde of the sea.

We’ll walk hand in hand this time,

The past long gone,

Yet present by our side,

The shadow’s growing long.

We’d be staring at a reunion,

Once again.

So promise me,

We’d sit by each others side,

‘Lover’s we’d appear

In the silhouette,

And as the moon would shine too bright,

I’d look into your eyes and smile,

But this time,

I won’t fall in love.

Rather, know

That it’s time,

To say,

Goodbye.

Poem 39 # ( Why the moon?)

They tell her how the moon is a lone being,

How he usually wanders off, runs away free.

So why would she like something that’s so distant, so cold

and appears when he wishes to be seen?

Maybe they fail to see that it shines in the caliginous sky,

It radiates even among the stars, so bright

It evolves everyday, develops each night

Until it emerges as a new being, on full moon nights.

Maybe the light that it brings wouldn’t lighten up their world,

But for her the Moon’s light, is a peaceful sight,

One which makes her happy and makes her smile.

The wall

He has calloused hands that protect him from outside,

And stiff shoulders to guide his lies,.

He seems to be all in line, when you see him from afar,

But when you get closer to him,

He feels so cold, icy, you’ll feel.

Just like the frigid winds, that injure and harm

He’ll scratch away the old wounds, with his persona so warm.

You would be deceived it was all your fault.

He had me entrapped for a while,

With his calm exterior and peaceful look,

But the chaos within, he hides that away,

With his forged words and sham smile.

He lives this way and oh he loves to hides,

The shadow of the sun and the eclipse of the night

.

Poem 38#

Yes,she overthinks,

And she’s scared too.

For she worries about the future

And mistakes of the past, few

For, what if she commits the same mistake again?

And what if they see her through?

What if they see that her smile is never true?